Oh, The Places You’ll Go

I bet when you were just a bit younger, you looked at your lovely partner over there and thought ‘Wow!’

Each night, you climbed into bed and you thanked your lucky stars that you wouldn’t have to wake up alone again. You see, you’d hit the Holy Grail of life: Great job, nice stuff and someone to call your own. The American Dream. Complete with an underwater mortgage.

And then one day it seemed like those velour track pants were fitting your princess just a little too snug. Not like you don’t mind a little junk in the trunk, but it’s just that, well, you aren’t used to it. You’re also not used to all of these small people in your house demanding your time and attention. Can’t they see you are completely exhausted from working that job you didn’t really want in the first place?

You’ve thought long and hard about it. You fantasize about it. Your best friend is doing it. Your sister’s done it twice. Your boss is doing it with the Marketing Director.

Everybody’s cheating.

Except you.

You’ve held out for a while, you take your vows seriously after all and you tried to make it work but all your efforts didn’t do a damn thing. You’ve endured being ignored and treated like shit. Everything is more important than you, kids, job, car, even the dogs. You go to bed feeling like shit every night, sleeping in the same bed with someone who doesn’t give a damn about you, that is if you even still sleeping in the same bed. The passion is dead and stinking and sex, well sex is only a distant memory. So what do you do now?