And make it hurt…just a little.
Or, why you chose to have an affair on your summer vacation.
TMC here, keeping it classy, ladies and gentlemen. Just like Ron Burgundy, but with less ‘stache.
Let me ask you a question: When was the last time you were in the middle of having sex with your spouse and you thought to yourself ‘this would be so much better if I just bit her/him right…about…now”?
Three months ago when you last found time to have sex between work, kids, soccer and laundry? Yeah, we thought so. Here at TMC, we like to look at things realistically, and you know what we always say, if you can’t be faithful be careful, but what if this one time, you weren’t just faithful or careful, but honest?
What if you whispered some sweet nothings once in a while that sounded like any of these:
Darling, I want you to come home, pin me up against a wall, and d**k me down like you haven’t since we were 21;
Honey, I want to tie you up and go down on you until you’re begging me to stop, then I want to make love to you until you’re begging me not to stop. Then, I’ll rub your feet and we can drift off to sleep together;
Baby, I love you, by I want to tie you up and spank you just a little. Not too rough, just until that cute booty of yours is a little red. Please?
Sweetie, I want you to f**k my mouth like I’m a nasty whore.
You get the drift. TMC believes that many affairs start, not because your home lives suck, but because you aren’t getting the sex you want. And let’s face it, affair sex can be quite addictive, right? You’re going at it like two teenagers without a care of STDs or pregnancies in the world. You’re not paying bills, burping no babies, or trying to find out WTF that smell is in the fridge. No, you’re just, to put it bluntly, fucking each other’s brains out. Specifically, you’re having the kind of sex you’re dreaming of. Maybe your new affair likes it when you wear pink lacy thongs you big, strapping, giant of a man. Or, perhaps your affair, missy, likes it when you tell him to get on his knees and lick you from toes to eyebrows. Hey, we’re not here to judge, to each his/her own.
We’re not even here to say that you might want to just ask, once or twice, for your spouse to open up sexually. It’s too late to suggest you take sexual compatibility into the equation when you’re choosing a spouse. Instead, we’ll remind you that not every affair is made the same and not every affair is a love match. Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s a match made in a raunch-filled dungeon.
Until next time…oh, you know the drill. I wrote it just a few paragraphs ago.