Someone said to me ‘Only losers cheat on people they are supposed to love!”
I wanted to say, ‘honey, you have no idea what you’re talking about’ and yet I didn’t. I let this nice woman go on and on and on about cheaters and how they are ruining society.
Let me tell you what is ruining society: Being dishonest about just how much we value passionate, connected sex. Yes, that’s right. It’s not the debt ceiling debacle or the fact that no two people can decide on who is wealthy. It’s telling ourselves that sex isn’t really that important in a relationship. Until we look across the dinner table and realize that our partner is more focused on the Tuesday (not that hard) NY Times Crossword puzzle and less interested in the fact that we wanted to be a biologist when we were kids. The passion you told yourself wasn’t so important because you were marrying someone who would be a great parent, manager of a household, tax preparer is now the one thing you can’t get out of your mind.
You. Need. Passion.
You want to be held and you want to feel wanted and, in turn, you want to WANT someone. And that, kind readers, will be the downfall of this country if we aren’t careful. Why? Well, that’s easy. We’re lying to ourselves. Far too many of us pick a partner based on everything but desire because we’re told it isn’t important or we’ll learn to feel a certain way over time, or a multitude of other excuses.
And then you hit about 40 and you have that mid-life crisis everyone tells you about and you realize you’ve made a mistake. You didn’t marry your true love, you married a business partner and you sort of kinda want out.
No, I’m not about to condone cheating. In my own life, I have seen cheaters, been cheated on and have cheated and here’s what I have learned: Hindsight has hawk vision.
But, since I’m human and I’m assuming those of you reading this are also human, let’s just say that being careful is the next best thing to being faithful.
And that’s where things like blocked caller ID options and ‘oh, crap, the boss is coming’ function keys come into play. Yes, you sure do want some hot sex, but you definitely don’t want to be on the receiving end of a divorce subpoena.