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February 2012

Santize Series # 2 – The Cell Phone

tick tick boom

In our last technology post we discussed briefly how dangerous your cell phone can be to your affair. In fact, it’s a ticking time bomb so if you’re smart you’ve never, never taken any pictures or video of your affair, or have any incriminating websites on your phone and have never gotten any incriminating numbers, texts or BBM’s. Most of us however, have all these on our phone and constantly monitor it, trying to scrub all traces of anything that could land us in trouble. You might be diligent at monitoring your phone but know this; all it takes is one text, pic, email or call for your life to implode. If you guard your phone like the Hope Diamond sooner or later your significant other is going to notice. It’s exhausting hiding the phone all the time and the anxiety of knowing something might come through that’ll mess you up isn’t easy to live with.

The solution to this is simple. Get a throwaway phone.

Cell phones are cheap nowadays and it’s easy to get a decent phone that does all the things you need for minimum cost. For our purposes all you need the phone to do is make and receive calls, text and maybe have Internet access. Virtually all mobile phones, even pay as you go phones, come with these features as standard. has a great selection and even the most inexpensive models come with most of the above features. You won’t want to spend much on this phone, it’s called a throwaway for a reason. If things get hairy you should be prepared to chuck it anytime.

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Put It Right There, Baby….

make it hurt...just a little

Oh, Baby, Put It Right There…

And make it hurt…just a little.

Or, why you chose to have an affair on your summer vacation.

TMC here, keeping it classy, ladies and gentlemen. Just like Ron Burgundy, but with less ‘stache.

Let me ask you a question:  When was the last time you were in the middle of having sex with your spouse and you thought to yourself ‘this would be so much better if I just bit her/him right…about…now”?

Three months ago when you last found time to have sex between work, kids, soccer and laundry? Yeah, we thought so. Here at TMC, we like to look at things realistically, and you know what we always say, if you can’t be faithful be careful, but what if this one time, you weren’t just faithful or careful, but honest?

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Sanitize – # 1

more than clean_sanitized

So you’ve made the decision to have an affair and you’ve gone online, took some time to look at the sites, then dropped some cash for a month or two to see how it goes.

AFF, Plenty of Fish, Ashley Madison, Oh My!

You looked at tons of pictures of the prospects in your area,  and even emailed a few. If you play your cards right you’ll get some responses from a few, trade a few emails then you’re at the trading pictures stage. You’ll be your charming self and soon you’ll get emails or texts with a few pics to pique your interest. They’ll be pretty tame, her out with the girls raising a colorful drink with an umbrella in it, or him at an office party in a business suit looking professionally fine. It won’t take long (trust me on that one) before you’re on to more provocative stuff. You go crazy when she sends you the pics of her topless and/or naked and your juices will flow like it hasn’t in years when you see him in that bathing suit on the beach. Things look good, they’re ripe for the picking, all you have to do is go get them.

And go get it you do.

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Boundaries, Borders, Fences and Walls


The Internet is overflowing with stories about people who meet online. Some stories are great and heartwarming, with the proverbial happy ending but some stories are absolutely crazy. TMC saw one such story this week that’s the craziest we’ve seen in a while.

“Kristy Gaffney says she thought she’d found love when she met a man online. Now the Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania woman claims she’s in the battle of her life — fighting for the child they had.”

This just goes to remind us (as if we needed a reminder) to be careful about your online activities, ESPECIALLY when meeting people and hooking up. That sexy girl who you just can’t wait to get your hands on, or that fine guy who seems to have it all together might be a psycho in disguise or worse. There are boundaries that need to be established readers, as we wrote in our post this morning, but the folks in this story obviously didn’t pay attention to that bit of common sense.

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© 2012 The Modern Cheater